Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Scout the Dog

I had to put Scout to sleep tonight. It was time. I knew something was wrong last week. He stopped meeting me at the door when I got home from work. I thought he was just getting old and I let it pass. This weekend he would spend time just standing and staring into space. Still I was hoping it was just a phase and he would get back to being normal Scout. That didn't happen.

When I got home from work tonight my dad told me Scout had been laying on his pillow under my desk all day without moving. I got under the desk with him and tried rubbing him while offering some hamburger. He wouldn't eat and barely lifted his head. I made a bed on the couch and placed him on it. I gently stroked him for about an hour trying to will him into feeling better.

I told Sophie he was sick and she covered him in her pink baby blanket telling him, "it will make you feel better Scoutie." Such a kind and loving heart she has. I got up to use the bathroom and when I was away he had stumbled off the couch and then evacuated on the floor. He was trying to walk but just could not make his body do what he wanted it to do. I knew he was not going to get better this time.

I ran him to the vet where they did a chest scan, an ultra-sound, and blood work. Scout had a massive growth near his spleen and his stomach had masses in it. His blood platelets were gone. They gave me an estimate of $6000 or more if they did surgery but were honest enough to tell me the chances he would make it were very very remote.

After making a terribly painful decision, I held Scout in my arms as he passed on to the other side. I rubbed his belly. I put my forehead on his. I let him know just how loved he was. He was Holly's dog. She got him when she was 18. I cannot count how many times she cried thinking about what she would do when Scout finally died. In some perverse twist of fate she never had to experience that pain.

Holly loved Scout as much as any person can love a pet. Scout moved across the country with her. He was with us in San Francisco when we got married. He was there waiting for us when we brought Sophie home from the hospital. He was there waiting every time Holly got out of the hospital. He was there for me when Holly passed. Scout was a huge part of our life and involved in so many monumental events. Now he joins Holly, Shilo, and Lulu in Heaven.

Godspeed Scoutie. I hope you are running through heavenly dog parks filled with your favorite juniper trees. I hope you are eating nothing but the most tasty of french fries of which you loved so much. You will be greatly missed by both Sophie and I. As Sophie told me earlier, "Scout is with mommy now but still attached to our hearts with the invisible string." Indeed he is. Good bye buddy. Good bye.


  1. Oh Sean I'm so sorry. I'm crying. I loved him so much. He was a good boy. He will be missed. Hike a leg buddy.

  2. Aw. Poor Scout. Over the rainbow - but another big hole on earth.

  3. Sorry to hear about Scout. He was a sweet dog. I'll miss seeing him at the fence wanting me to pet him.

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  5. I am so sorry Sean!!! I know Holly loved Scout so incredibly much! I'll never forget when he took a big poo in our front lawn and holly was laughing soooo hard bc she knew he did it as to say "eff you cody" bc both cody and scoutie had old man grumpiness. It always made her laugh so hard. I miss her laugh. I miss her dressing up her dogs with makeup and sending me photos. I'm so sorry for your loss.