Monday, December 21, 2015

My Wedding Ring

I can't sleep tonight. I am laying in the bed I use to share with Holly whenever we would come down to visit her parents. I am surrounded by photos and memories of her and it just brings an all encompassing level of sadness to me. Our first Christmas without her. Inside I am filled with emotional turmoil and sadness. Still.

One thing that brings me a small amount of peace is my wedding ring. It feels comfortable. It is a tangible reminder of her and the life we had together. It also has the tendency to bring up hard conversations at times. People see it on my finger and ask about my wife and our family. Their intention is good but it creates an uncomfortable conversation to me. If I tell them the truth there is a whole period of them offering apologies and condolences. I find it is easier to just not say anything and sort of yes my way through whatever topic comes up

My ring is a part of me. Part of my life story. A symbol of my marriage. It represents a union that brought our beautiful daughter into this world. Simply removing it would feel like the most unnatural thing in the world to me. Maybe someday that will change but for now the ring remains as a symbol of my wife who left my life far too soon.

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