Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Dirt

It has been a busy few weeks without you. Two weekends ago I flew down to Texas to pick up Sophie and bring her home. It was a quick 24 hour trip. It was nice to see your parents and Kelsea and Jason. While I was there I went out to your grave and just sat their crying. The dirt is still piled above you. I was hoping it would have gone down some by now but it has not. I still have not decided on what I want written on your headstone. I think I am getting closer but need a little more time.

Your grave is adorned with flowers and pin-wheels. It still seems naked without the headstone though. I need something that is beautiful like you. I want to write something befitting of your life, love, and family. It seems like such a final act. The last thing I will ever be able to do for you. I want it to be perfect. Something Sophie will understand and love after I am gone.

Speaking of Sophie she still talks about you all of the time. She asks several times a day if you can come home from Heaven. I of course tell her that you cannot to which she replies, "I know dad. I just like thinking about it." She misses you an awful lot. We pray for you every night. Sophie is excited for Sunday school to start in September. She says she wants to learn all about Jesus and Heaven so she knows where you are. Breaks my heart.

I found out yesterday that I was able to get Sophie into Banning Lewis Ranch Academy this year. It took a lot of doing but we finally made it happen. Sophie will be able to to go to school with Charlie and Miranda and Zen will watch her after school. It makes me happy that she loves spending time with them as they are the closest things to siblings she will have. The Apodaca family has been an unbelievable blessing for us.

I miss you honey. I love you. I pray for you daily and know that you are in a better place. You are my one and only true love. Watch over us darling. All my love.

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