Sunday, June 14, 2015

Scooch Your Booch

This afternoon while putting Sophie in her car seat I told her to, "Scooch your booch." That was something you use to say to her and was uniquely yours. I remembering you and Sophie both laughing when you would say. I brought be back to reality that you are gone and there are so many things you are going to miss in Sophie's life. I keep trying to tell myself of all the things you were there for:

Her birth
Her first plane ride
Her first birthday
Her first Christmas
Her first day of school
Her first concert
Her first trip to Disney World
Her first soccer goal

So many firsts... yet all I can thing about are the things you will miss. All I can think about is how much I miss my wife and the life we had together. I can be distracted for periods of time but something always brings a memory back of you. The tears follow shortly.

Bryna and Ross are here and we spent the early part of the day at Springs Spree. There was all kinds of festival foods and it made me think of you and how much be both always enjoyed festival food. Bryna brought a couple of books for Sophie (and a beautiful Kendra Scott necklace you would love) and she showed them to me and I knew that at that moment I could not read them without starting to cry. They are good people with good hearts. I just wish they were here to see all of us together again. Not just Sophie and I.

I am in bed taking a "family nap" with Sophie. Something the three of us would often do on the weekends. I can't fall asleep though because I miss you just so damn much. I keep asking God why this had to happen to you and I don't have an answer. Did I fail you? Did I not try hard enough? Was there more that I could have done for you? I don't have the answer to those questions either. I love you so much honey. I will never be the same without you.

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