Monday, June 8, 2015

One Month

It has been one month since Holly passed. An entire month she has been gone. I still cannot believe it. I spent the night looking through photos and crying my eyes out. I miss so many things about her. I miss her smile. I miss her hair. I miss watching our shows in bed at the end of the day. I just miss... her.

Made it out to a birthday party with Sophie for one of her friends yesterday. Outside of work it was really the first time I had been around people. It was hard even though there were some people there I would consider friends. Sophie had a great time and it was good to see her smiling and running around having fun again. I wish I felt the same.

After the party Saturday she has a sleep over at one of her friends house. Selfishly I did not want her to go. When she is around I can put my focus into her and dull some of the pain. Alas I let her go and ended up having a rough night.

I still where my wedding ring. I cannot imagine ever taking it off. It is a memory of my wife that I lost way too soon. It is a part of who I am. How do people deal with this. I pray. I try to tell myself God has a plan for each of us. I just can't make myself believe it.

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