Saturday, May 16, 2015

May 8, 2015

May 8th, 2015. The worst day in my life. It was the day I had to tell me beautiful and loving 4 year old daughter that her mother had gone to heaven. We always knew there was a risk with Holly. She has been born with a jumble of arteries in her brain. Over 9 years she had received 7 brain embolizations. Ultimately it was not enough as she had a brain bleed that ultimately cost her, her life. A 30 year old angel taken from her family far too soon.

The night I told Sophie was very hard. There is no fool-proof protocol for telling a 4 year old her mother has passed. As close as I could come was to use the analogy that mommy was in heaven with Shilo the dog and Teddy the hamster. At least this provided some frame of reference for her to work from. She knows who Jesus is and was happy to know that Jesus would be taking care of mommy.

We held the family visitation today and as I asked Sophie if she wanted to go she was adamant in her desire to not go. I was okay with this as the lasrt thing I would ever want to do is make her feel obligated to do something she does not want to do. I an conflicted as I really would like Sophie to be able to say goodbye to her mommy. My gut tells me this might be a hard sell to Sophie and might not be as simple as possible

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